


The Thief and the Telescope

by SkyWrites



Category: Original Work
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Dwarves, F/F, Fantasy, Gen, Knights - Freeform, Light-Hearted, Magic, Royalty, Sexual Humor, Worldbuilding, thieves, very mild sexual content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7793875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyWrites/pseuds/SkyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various adventures featuring a scandalous thief, a much-too-honorable knight, and an obsessive princess. All while exploring the strange ring-shaped planet that they call home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Original story written by [Sky](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/699150/Sky-s-Penname). This is a work-in-progress, and details are subject to change. Story is very experimental. This is also a side-project, so updates on it are going to be fairly random as I'm mostly trying to get a feel for making my own characters and world. 
> 
> Thank you to anyone giving this a read! It makes us both happy!

The darkness stirred. Drapes rustled from a breeze without wind. Shadows appeared to grow larger for but a moment before shrinking down to their original size. Footsteps lightly pressed against magnificent rugs, but never in the presence of others. Doors opened and closed on their own silently, as if having a secret conversation with one another away from pesky eyes.

With their rounds finished for a moment, the castle's guards turned a corner, giving her a chance. Lyra dashed through the empty hallway towards an extravagant looking door. If it were possible, she’d steal the thing right off its hinges. Without a sound, she closed the door behind her and found herself at the destination.

The lights were off, the chairs were stacked and organized away. Not many came to this room, clearly, making it all the better for her to be there. Magical artifacts and other priceless doo-dads lined the wall ahead of her, the rarer ones on a posh pedestal underneath a hunk of glass. The same blue and white drapes from the castle hung neatly here, gathering a bit of dust. Not enough to cause cobwebs or anything, but just enough to show it was not cared for as it should be.

A grin crept across her face. It had been so easy to steal her way into the castle. She should have done this ages ago! The guards were lax and undisciplined, most likely because they had never seen a bit of hardship for generations. The only thing that surprised Lyra was that no one had stolen from this place long ago.

 _The Treasury of Princess Vega Eradice,_ the sign had said. Open to the public! Once renovations were complete. There seemed to be no sign of renovations, no sign of any love for this place other than a bit of dusting now and then. A few magically lit lamps were left here and there around the artifacts themselves, giving them an almost eerie glow in the darkness.

So many to choose from!

Lyra crept closer to the artifacts and talismans, her hooded face hiding away a greedy smile. The more powerful or rare treasures had descriptions and names scrawled beneath them, allowing Lyra to browse the treasures like a simple shop.

The first she came across was a hand mirror lined with an articulate gold design. It appeared sharp and beautiful – dangerous even. The description named it as ‘The Succubus Hand Mirror. A powerful spell of charming has been enchanted into this mirror. Anyone caught in its gaze while being held by a user will cause the onlooker to become completely infatuated.’

The thief couldn’t help but snicker as she gazed at her own reflection. She had no problem doing that herself, reflexively groping her chest. It was her most precious treasure, and she didn’t want to hide that away from anyone, though she had to make due with wearing a skin-tight suit over her breasts instead of going bare, with the rest of her body, covered in a dark leather tunic. As much as she might have wished it wasn’t, thieving in the nude was quite difficult. 

Growing tired of the mirror, she moved onto the next treasure, hoping to find something a bit more worthwhile. There were plenty of treasures to choose from, gauntlets that shot magical fireballs, swords whose edges would never dull, a haunted monocle that let the user witness unseen horrors, and all kinds of expensive goblets and candelabras made with the finest silvers and cobalt blues. So much blue and white. This royal family was obsessed with the colors, in Lyra’s opinion.

Her eyes fell upon another rather simple talisman now. A small necklace with a brilliant blue gemstone centered upon silver. The treasure was aptly named ‘Beelzebub’s Demise.’ Now that sounded good! She read the description. ‘Repels all forms of small insects and arachnids.’

It was just a bug repellant? Why did these old timey wizards and smiths feel the need to name things as if they were universe destroyers? Lyra shrugged. She couldn’t deny the convenience of the thing, and she certainly hated creepy crawlies anyway. Might as well take it.

The glass case was simple enough to remove, and luckily for her, no traps or alarms were triggered by removing it. With a satisfying snatch, she stowed the necklace away into one of her many pockets. Now, what else was worth taking?

Lyra’s ears twitched, alerting her to the sound of heavily armored footsteps moving her way. Damn it, no one was supposed to come in here today! Did she trigger an alarm after all? There was no time to wonder now. She quickly and quietly dove underneath a sturdy desk near the door.

“Oh, you’ll love it, I promise!” came a voice on the other side of the door.

The other one sounded almost insulted as the door swung open carelessly. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t love it.”

“Come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I don’t think I do!”

Two knights had barged their way into the dimly lit treasury. Their blue and silver armor clanked noisily with each step as they made their way toward the magical artifacts. They clearly were not meant to be here either, but curiosity and cat killing etc., etc.

“Check out some of these crazy things!”

“I’m looking at them, don’t rush me!”

“Ugh, I wasn’t rushing you, I’m just excited is all.”

Lyra grimaced to herself. There was no way she was getting any more loot now, and it was only a matter of time before these nosy knights found out the amulet was missing. As much as she hated to admit when a plan had gone wrong, she would have to make a swift exit.

“Check out this sucking bus mirror!”

“Oh, you _would_ like that one, of course.”

Their voices became lighter and more distant. Lyra had already snuck quietly out the open door, traveling swiftly between unused rooms and hallways with very little traffic. She was moving much faster than before, and quite a bit less carefully, but she didn’t have much time before everyone in the castle knew a thief was on the prowl. She did want them to know they were being burgled, just not while she was still there!

The magnificent carpets and rugs began vanishing as Lyra made her way through the royal castle to the servant section. Dodging from shadow to shadow as quickly as she could, she soon found the exit with little difficulty. There were quite a number of walkways that were just plain unused.

The wooden door had been left slightly ajar, sunlight streaming in through the crevices. Lyra had been so confident in herself that she had decided to go stealing in broad daylight. Her goal was just within reach. The thief kept her eyes trained directly forward now, ignoring her surroundings, sure of her escape.

Lyra all but ran headfirst into another knight now, her skintight shirt tearing against a pointy part of his armor. The oblivious knight appeared to have been coming from outside. “Goodness gracious!” the man under the bulking armor yelled, just as surprised to see Lyra as she was to see him. This knight was different from the others however. His armor was polished to an almost blinding sheen, as if he cleaned it every hour. “Are you all ri-” he had begun to say, but found himself at a loss for words once he noticed Lyra’s jiggling jugs, now free and exposed.

The busty scoundrel caught wind of this weakness almost immediately, used to these kinds of reactions and exploiting them quite often. “I’m just fine,” Lyra replied smugly, stretching her back to make her breasts all the more visible to the knight.

He could barely look at her. His visor hid his face, but his helmet was turned to the side, his gauntlets blocking his face like he was suffering a terrible blow. “M-madam! You are indecent! Please, cover yourself!”

Lyra was in a bit of a rush right now, but she couldn’t pass up an opportunity to toy with him just a little bit. “Oh my, I guess I am,” she said in a mock-innocent tone, pressing her perfectly round mounds together.

The knight was basically blind at this point, fumbling over his own boots. “Have you no shame, dear woman?!” he called out, exasperated.

“Nope,” was all she replied, laughing lightly to herself as she sped past the befuddled knight and into freedom.


	2. Strand of Fire

Dull footsteps echoed through a massive observatory. Thousands upon thousands of books of all shapes and sizes, from newly made to yellowed and decrepit, laid lazily across their golden luxurious shelves. There were texts of entire histories of civilizations rising and falling, guides to magic of terrible power, works of every kind of fiction imaginable, and yet…

It was all so boring, still.

Wisps of white blonde hair fell over her blue dress. White and blue. So much white and blue. She usually kept her hair dyed a different color, something interesting compared to this dreary environment, but she could hardly muster the motivation for even that as of late.

Princess Vega let out a weary sigh and fell back upon one of the cushy sofas that littered the observatory. Not many came here anymore, and there wasn’t much need to. The world had been in a state of peace for centuries on end. There was, of course, a few members of the royal family or a nosy servant or librarian that would check up on the books and the telescope, but Vega usually chased them away with her complaining.

The telescope. The main attraction of the observatory, the prized artifact of Castle Eradice stood in the center of it all. An enormous thing plated with gold and lined with white and blue loomed over the bookshelves and pierced the glass dome of the ceiling. It was a magical thing, blessed by some goddess or maybe created by some powerful wizard or whatever. It didn’t matter who made it to Vega, but it kept her occupied.

With the telescope, she could spy out into the stars and look deep into the recess of the black inky space. Or, she could send her gaze upward and find the other side of the world itself. The world was shaped like a ring, after all. Anyone could look up on a clear day and see the opposite side of the green planet, but only this telescope could look to the other side and see every detail down to the grain of sand.

At first, it was rather exciting, gazing across the world and seeing how the others lived. Sailors, bakers, peasants and rich folk alike; none were safe from Princess Vega’s all seeing eye. But… it lost its thrill after a time. Nothing exciting ever happened! There were no wars, there were no monster battles, just boring people living boring lives!

Vega let out another exasperated sigh, as if just the act of thinking all of this had been a strenuous effort. One leg dangled carelessly off the edge of the sofa as she stared up at the glass dome lazily. It wasn’t a particularly cloudy today, and the green forests at the top of the sky looked down at her just as languidly. Maybe she would look through the telescope again. Maybe she’d see if anyone on this dull planet was doing anything fun. But, that would require her to get up. And she was tired after complaining so much about how bored she was.

A booming knock exploded through the peaceful observatory as doors slammed open, followed by a clanking of noisy armor. The noise nearly made Vega jump out of her dress, which would have been the most exercise she had gotten all day, sadly.

“What is all that awful noise!?” the princess whined groggily. ~~~~

A knight had burst into the observatory, his cobalt armor polished to an excruciatingly bright sheen. It clearly was difficult to move in such bulky armor, but he did not give up. The knight in blue and white was huffing and puffing behind his visor as he sprinted. Vega could imagine the sweat that must have been trickling down his body at that moment.

“Lady Vega! Lady Vega!” he called out over and over during his run. “Lady Vega!”

Such noise! “Yes, yes,” she replied lazily, sitting up with a yawn.

“Lady Vega!” the knight repeated, not hearing her over his own shouts.

“ _Yes_ ,” she said again louder this time, aggravated. “What is it?”

“Lady Vega!” he repeated again, making the princess in question feel a renewed energy, but mostly a slightly murderous one. “I have grave news!”

Somehow, she doubted that. Nothing ever went wrong here, and if it did, her father would be the first to know, not her. Vega waited for the eccentric knight to finally reach her before speaking again. “Yes…” she repeated for a third time now. “What. Is. It?”

She recognized the knight now that he was close up. Sir Cygnus, he called himself. He was one of the king’s top knights, but obviously not the very best. He kept the very best to himself. Cygnus was quite reliable, but Vega found he took his duties just a bit too seriously.

“Lady…” he huffed, “Vega,” he wheezed.

The princess was almost never cruel, just lazy and insensitive, but at this moment she was wondering if beheadings were still a thing in the kingdom right about now. 

Cygnus had regained some of his breath and knelt down before the disheveled-haired princess. He never once took off his helmet or opened his visor, even though he was clearly overheated. Vega wondered if she had actually ever seen him out of his armor. “Terrible! It’s terrible!” he babbled.

“What! What!!” Vega was almost screaming now.

“I’ve failed you, Princess Vega!” Cygnus wailed. “Please forgive me.”

“I don’t think I ever will if you don’t just tell me what happened!” she wailed back, unable to keep herself together.

Cygnus composed himself at that. “There was a thief. Right here in Castle Eradice. I was doing my usual rounds in the unused part of the castle, since no one else does, and it would be dishonorable to leave any part of the castle-”

“Yes, yes, I know of my own section of the castle,” Vega sighed, motioning with her hands to hurry up.

Not one to ignore orders, Cygnus blurted out his next words. “She stole a priceless artifact, a possession of yours!” His helm was pointed low at the tiled floor in shame, unable to make eye contact, not that she could ever see his eyes anyway.

The princess brushed a few strands of her rather messy hair out of her face. “Is that all?” she asked with a sigh, knowing it wouldn’t be anything interesting, yet somehow still disappointed anyway.

A sputtering cough of shock reverbed through his cobalt helmet. “M-my Princess, I haven’t even told you what was stolen yet!”

“It’s fine,” Vega said curtly, waving him away with a yawn.

Cygnus went on anyway. “The Amulet of Blguhfagh!” Or something like that. Vega had stopped paying attention. Wizards always gave these charms such strange names. “It’s been in your family for generations! Passed down to you from your great great great great Uncle Eradice himself and from his great great great great uncle!”

She really really really did not care, but Vega found herself held hostage by her own knight. She would have to humor him if she wanted to get back to lazing about. “Fine, okay, what uh… what did this thief look like?” she sighed, sounding as if she had just run a marathon herself.

Suddenly Cygnus’ constant apologizing had gone silent. The blue and white knight went as still as a statue. He hadn’t died, had he? Oh, that would be such an ordeal if he did. “I-I did not see her face,” he stuttered, tripping over his words suddenly. “B-but I saw something else…”

What had gotten into him now? If Vega didn’t know any better, she could swear the knight’s helmet had almost turned a shade of pink as if he were blushing through the armor – if such a thing were possible. “What did you see on her?”

“I cannot say in front of a lady such as yourself!” he shouted, flustered.

Now Vega was starting to get interested. It was almost impossible to get Cygnus to stop talking, let alone withhold information about a possible crime. “You can tell me, Sir Cygnus,” she said in her most ‘princess’ like voice.

Hearing his name pronounced just as he had always wanted, Cygnus shot up. He looked from side to side, as if worried anyone else might hear in this empty observatory. “T-the thief… her…” he stumbled over his words, choking on them.

Damn this knight! He was teasing her now. She finally wanted to hear what he had to say, and _now_ is the time he clams up? “Please, please,” her princess voice was straining. “Spit it out!”

“Her breasts!” Cygnus shouted much too loudly, the vulgar word echoing across the walls as if a childish imp had flown in and started yelling profanities. “Her face was covered but her breasts were out for all the world to see!”

What in the world? Vega was knocked back into her sofa after such a strange outburst. “Breasts?” she repeated, causing Cygnus to look down again in shame. “She was thieving stark naked?”

The knight’s armor was clattering as he shook with this uncomfortable information. “No, my lady, she wore a dark tunic and kept a hood over her head, but… there was a hole around the chest region which left her bare breasts exposed for all to see!”

How intriguing! How exotic! How scandalous! Vega couldn’t help but smile. A woman so daring as to steal from the castle and all the while showing her bare chest! The princess wished she had witnessed the act herself.

Cygnus wasn’t finished apparently. “I’m so sorry, Lady Vega! I failed you! But…” His gauntlet was clutching at something tightly. “I did manage to find this from the scene of the crime. I know it isn’t much,” he sighed.

Her blue eyes sparkled, staring at that clutched gauntlet of his. Vega could barely contain her excitement, her breaths coming out in short bursts. “Show me!” she demanded hungrily.

Cygnus opened his cobalt gauntlet and revealed a strand of bright red crimson. Vega’s breathing stopped. She had the sensation of her soul leaving her body. A single red hair. Long and fiery. It stood out against the blue and the white, looking as if it fought against the knight’s grasp right there and then. She couldn’t believe she was so entranced by something like a hair! How could it be so interesting? So thrilling?

The crimson strand waited for her, like some long lost talisman filled with unimaginable power. She was almost afraid to even touch it, as if the hair might somehow burn her skin. A hand slowly reached out for it, and the princess was shocked to find it was her own. It was just a strand, yet it felt so soft against her skin. Wild; dangerous even.

“I know how much you enjoy the magical telescope, my lady!” Cygnus said, unable to interrupt Vega’s trancelike state. “With it, you could find that thief anywhere in the world! She could never escape!”

Vega heard the words, but didn’t register them until later. That’s right! The telescope, of course! It could do more than just look out into the world, it could find anyone on the planet anywhere! All it needed was a small piece of that person, such as a skin flake, a nail, or…

A strand of hair even.

Her heart felt like it was beating in a separate plane of reality. She could find this thief on her own! Something to do! Something so incredibly interesting! What was the thief like, she wondered? What other things might she steal? She could watch it all, right here! Her skin was tingling all over!

“Lady Vega!” Cygnus shouted again, bringing the princess out of her daydreams. Her eyes returned to him, grumpy and angry. “What should I do about the thief?”

Vega wanted nothing more right now than to be left alone. “Go find the thief. Do whatever you need to do,” she mumbled, barely taking her eyes off that strand of fire.

“Of course, my lady! I won’t let you down!”


	3. No Need for Ass-istance

The bright ball of gold known as their sun held itself high today. If one were to look up now, instead of seeing the other side of the world, they would be blinded by the small sun passing through the empty chasm of their ring world. All denizens of Hoagart experienced daylight at the same time so long as they lived on the inside of the ring.

That small little orb was causing quite the heat today, though, as Cygnus found himself sweating profusely in his usual blue and white armor. Certainly, he could remove his helmet to cool off just a bit, but to do so would bring shame upon his knightly honor! A knight such as himself must always be prepared for any danger, must always be prepared to help those in need!

To his dismay, Cygnus found his greaves had become quite dirtied after his long trek away from Castle Eradice. He was charged by Princess Vega herself to catch this thief, and he would stop at nothing to complete his task! Not even clean off this horrible brown mud that stuck to his once pristine blue and silver armor… Oh, how he wished he had time to clean his armor.

But! There were more important things than keeping clean armor for once! Cygnus couldn’t be sure where that indecent thief had gone, but if he tried to put himself in the thief’s mindset, (Which was very difficult, by the way! Cygnus spent hours meditating this) he figured she would be somewhere in the city still.

Cygnus spent his first day searching through the city, but became sidetracked quite often as he felt it was his duty to help anyone in need! That included getting any poor cats out of trees, watching over a fruit stand while the owner took a much needed nap, helping frail old women across the street and to their homes, and other such knightly deeds.

One sweet old lady in particular wished to get to her home village of Brook not far from the city of Eradice. Unfortunately, her donkey had run off and left her stranded with a wagon of goods in the city and no way to get home. Cygnus could not stand for such injustice! With nary a complaint, the knight took the donkey’s reins and pulled the wagon through the dirt road to Brook. It was a rather slow and tiresome journey, but Cygnus never gave up, not once!

“Oh, dear, please let me give you a reward!” The sweet old lady had said, rummaging through her belongings.

“Worry not, madam!” Cygnus replied heroically, if not through a few panting wheezes. “My reward is helping those in need! I cannot accept your generosity.”

Looking back on that moment, though, Cygnus couldn’t help but think if maybe he should have asked for a cup of tea or a bit of water. He was loath to admit it, but he was quite parched. It mattered not, though! Justice would be all the sustenance he needed!

The village of Brook was nothing particularly spectacular. It was a quaint location, surrounded by a quiet forest of vibrant green leafy trees. The roads here were nothing more than dirt, but after so much use, it was very packed down and easy to distinguish one road from another. Small homes and shops of clay and brick lined up by the roadsides, which bustled with travelers and villagers alike. Not many knights of Eradice came through here very often. Many of the villagers stared at Cygnus, eying his wondrous blue and silver armor.

At the center of it all was the village’s namesake. A crystal-like brook cutting through the little town, it’s pure blue water babbling and gurgling melodically to itself. Many of the villagers used this pure source of water for all their needs, from drinking, to bathing, as well as playing! Even with all its use, it never saw a drop of grime or filth. This brook most certainly must have come from a water crystal in the nearby forest, clearly blessed with magical properties.

It was quite tempting for Cygnus to dunk his helmet in that cool blue liquid and relieve himself of some of the heat, but it was not his place to drink from another village’s water source! It would be quite rude, he assumed.

The knight smiled brightly under his visor. He certainly must come to Brook more often! But he had to remember he had a job to do! Cygnus patrolled the streets vigilantly and justly, inspecting every person he passed. It shouldn’t be hard to find that lewd thief among this wholesome lot.

After a few blocks of patrolling, Cygnus appeared near a rather bustling tavern. He didn’t and wouldn’t partake of alcohol of any kind, but he would not judge an innocent man for partaking in some relaxation.

“Hey! I shee you shtaring!” a female voice was shouting outside the tavern. “I’ll kick your assh! Think I won’t!? I will!” She was clearly inebriated and slurring her words. Cygnus knew trouble when he heard it, and would not run from justice!

With a sprint, he made his way to the shouting in no time flat. Sprawled out on a bench in the most undignified of positions, Cygnus finally found the thief he was looking for! Bottles of booze clattered and clanked around her bench as she gulped down another and tossed it haphazardly into a pile near her. As before, her breasts were still exposed for all to see, but the dastardly deviant had the gall to wear the stolen treasure around her neck! The amulet lay comfortably between her fleshy mounds, as if begging to call more attention to itself.

“I’ll kick all your asshes!” she was yelling at any passerby, regardless of eye contact or not. Most, if not all of the villagers wanted nothing to do with this belligerent drunk. Any that dared stopped to stare were threatened with beatings.

Cygnus tensed up, trying his best to avert his gaze away from that sultry devilish chest. It was wrong to stare at a woman’s private areas, no matter what! “You! Thief!” he shouted valiantly, his gauntlet gripping the hilt of his sword, ready to pull it out of its scabbard at any time.

The thief seemed surprised to hear someone was actually calling her out. “Wha?” she mumbled groggily, trying to sit up in her drunkard daze. Her hood had fallen off, revealing the thief’s wild fiery hair, which was a complete mess. It appeared to Cygnus that this no good hooligan must have spent the entire night and day drinking and sleeping on this bench!

“By order of Princess Vega of the Royal Family of Eradice, I order you to surrender yourself and return what you have stolen!” Cygnus roared, a bit hoarse. Licking his lips under his visor, he really really wished he had gotten something to drink beforehand. “And cover yourself!”

The thief stared back at Cygnus, her eyes glossing over as her drunken mind tried to register what was in front of her. “You, uh…. you that knight from before?” she asked, head swaying back and forth to a booze-filled rhythm no one else could hear.

“I am Cygnus Deneb!” he shouted again. “Captain and personal knight of Princess Vega of Eradice! Evil-doer, you would do well to remember my name!”

The thief was not impressed by his words. She merely flopped back down onto her bench. “Go away, will ya?” she waved a drunken hand in his direction. “Sickness or whatever your name is,” she grumbled.

Sickness!? She would dare insult Cygnus’ honor?! “Surrender, or I will be forced to use…” he stalled, trying to find a better word. He couldn’t. “Force!”

With a satisfying metal screech, Cygnus unsheathed his most prized possession. The Sword of Deneb! Passed down from generation to generation of the Deneb family. The sword itself was made of beautiful shining silver that reflected light even brighter than his polished armor. The hilt of Deneb was a wonderfully crafted cobalt blue, with swans engraved around its handle, the signature animal of his family.

Although sweating uncontrollably and tired beyond reason, Cygnus felt a renewed vigor with his sword. The thief wasn’t impressed. Wait a minute. The thief had fallen asleep! The nerve of her! “Excuse me!” Cygnus yelled, trying to be both polite and a bit threatening at the same time.

The thief jumped up with a start, her nap ruined. “Eh!?” she grumbled again, eying Cygnus grumpily. “Sho it’s a fight you want!?”

He let out a sigh. “No, I only want your surrend-”

“I’ll shtill kick your assh!”

Before Cygnus could react, the thief sucker-punched him right in the helmet. Luckily, it was with her bare fist, and only resulted in him getting a bit of a headache, leaving the devilish deviant with bruised knuckles.

“Oh, that wasn’t shmart,” she whined, pressing her drunken lips on her wound. A very small crowd of villagers had appeared around the fight, mostly confused if this was meant to be some kind of terrible amateur street show. Some even tossed a couple of copper rings between the rivals, mostly hoping the payment would make them go away.

Cygnus was left with no choice! He was still dehydrated and half-mad from the heat, but he had to do this for his princess! With a noble battle cry, he swung his hefty sword downward upon the mischievous woman. Practically falling over herself in a drunken stupor, the thief dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding the edge of the blade. She retaliated with a swift kick to Cygnus’ chest, which knocked the wind out of him, and sent the thief’s own foot reeling with pain. Her breasts danced and jiggled as she hopped in place on one foot.

He felt his face heat up even more than it already was. This darned temptress was trying to distract him again! Mustering up his strength, Cygnus scrambled to his feet and swung his sword again.

_Rrrrrrrip._

“What!” Cygnus cried out, confused. The thief had just narrowly dodged the blade again, the edge cutting the behind of her pantaloons. Her behind was now bare for all to witness. In fact, it seemed as if she had planned this all along!

Grinning like an idiot, the thief shook her round rump at Cygnus. “Ripping my clothes again, Shickness?” she laughed, smacking her behind. “You want the assh this time, eh?”

“No! I-I would never!” Cygnus cried back, heaving under the strain of his own armor.

The thief was once again fondling herself in front of him. She couldn’t defeat him in combat, so she resorted to underhanded trickery! But, he was just so hot. So tired. He could hardly muster up the strength to hold his sword anymore. It wasn’t because of her lewd behavior! Oh goodness, everyone was going to think that weren’t they?

“Gettin’ tired, Shickness?” she laughed, running a hand over her breasts and through her wild unkempt hair.

The world around him was turning into a blur, the sights and sounds seemed to all mesh together. Cygnus reached out a gauntlet for the thief, in a desperate attempt to apprehend her, but instead found himself grabbing at the air and fall helmet-first into the dirt.

“Beaten by ass!” was the last words he heard followed by a drunken laughter before his world fell into blackness. How uncouth…


End file.
